Greg snickered as he heard another "Pop" sound. He
imagined Todd must be in a lot of pain at this point. He turned
to gloat at Todd and instead had to clench down on his jaw fairly
hard to keep from screaming. He was face to face with a very large
and angry looking shark.
The shark backed away from Greg's face and he could see that
he was in what would seem to be a court room. The only problem
was that everyone there was a shark, with the exception of Greg.
Even the lawyers were sharks. "Isn't this taking a tired
old joke a bit too far?" Greg muttered to himself.
"What did you say?" The shark in his face asked in
frustration. "I demand you answer the question!"
"What was it? I just got here." Greg replied.
"Your honor, obviously, he's going for insanity. I request
further witnesses be brought to the court room for clarification."
The Shark behind the bench sighed, "Very well. Court is
recessed for one hour." Slamming the gavel on the bench,
he stood up and left the courtroom.
Amidst the murmurs of the crowd of sharks, Greg noticed that
one was talking to him. "We must go back to your cell for
now." The shark grabbed Greg's arm and started pulling him
towards a doorway.
"Wait a minute, what's your name? Where am I? How did
I get here?"
"Save it for the judge. That insanity stuff isn't going
to help me win your case!"
Todd leaned back and smiled at the monitor, gesturing at it
while he talked. "See? They never noticed when our emergency
beam out device replaced us with blithering duplicate acting droids.
And the beauty of it is, while they are busy laughing at "us",
they've gotten too close to the droids for their own good."
"5, 4, 3..." Jeff began counting.
"2, 1.." Mike finished.
A large explosion filled the small screen. When it cleared,
there was nothing left but a room full of metal shards, embedded
in the walls.
"Uh oh..." Todd mentioned.
"I hate it when he says that," Jeff stated. "What?"
"Sensors indicate that Greg disappeared from the room,
seconds before the explosion. He got away!"
"The other two?" Mike asked.
"Their dead, Jim." Todd replied, in his best Dr.
McCoy imitation. "I think... Hard to tell for sure. There
was a lot of interference with that blast."
Mike turned to Todd for further clarification, and watched
as Todd vanished with a loud "pop", not unlike the sound
of ribs cracking under extreme pressure.
"Where am I?" Todd asked from the dark.
"Sharlikiscalia," a beautiful female voice replied.
"You've been brought here to witness."
"In court." The lights came on, and Todd did a double
take. In front of him was a very large shark. "Do not be
afraid. I don't bite."
"You don't?" Todd asked in disbelief.
"So, tell the court where you last saw Greg."
"Laughing in my face as he was about to kill me with his
silly transmogrifier thingy." Todd replied honestly.
"Is this the same Greg that 'laughed in your face?'"
The shark pointed a fin at Greg, who looked slightly confused
at the proceedings.
"It is." Todd said with finality.
"How did he get to the point he could laugh in your face
when he was supposed to be my client's next meal?"
Todd looked at the female shark who first talked to him. "I
thought you said you didn't bite!" Then he turned back to
the lawyer shark. "I don't know how he got there. I was just
playing a friendly game of cards. I hadn't even been bothered
by Greg for several months! The next thing I knew, Greg said something
about being saved by Hubris Valhalla......"
"HUBRIS VALHALLA!!??!!!??!" The entire room of sharks
shouted at once..
One came forward and pointed a scanner at Greg. "Where!"
Greg immediately spit out a set of coordinates, against his
will. "Got it!" The shark exclaimed.
Every shark in the room immediately headed for the exits. The
judge slammed his gavel, "Case dismissed!" and also
cleared the room.
Within seconds, the entire court room was empty. Todd and Greg
looked at each other, then reached for their weapons. Neither
had any. "Well, it appears if we want to kill each other,
then we'll have to do it by hand." Todd began.
"Kill each other?" Greg replied. "What on earth
could have ever started us on such a terrible crusade against
"I don't know. I tried to find out once..."
"But then we got distracted with trying.."
"..to kill each other.. yeah, I know."
The city looked like a ghost town. There was no one left. "I
guess they wanted to visit Hubris REAL bad."
Todd looked around. "I don't see any ships. Did they take
"Must have... come on."
Todd followed Greg from a short distance, to be safe. They
headed into a larger building. The building was beautifully made
and well maintained. It's only problem was that it was empty.
Cups of what looked like coffee were sitting un-drunk on the counter
top at the information booth.
Todd found a computer console at the booth and accessed it
for transportation information. Greg was checking out what looked
like a food replicator on the far wall when he heard a loud explosion
He turned in time to see Todd smiling in an apologetic manner
"I figured out how to beam off this planet to anywhere in
the galaxy. Unfortunately, I don't trust you very much. Nothing
personal... it's just your recent behavior.... At any rate, I
had to destroy the computer network that interlinks this entire
planet to be sure that you don't follow me."
"What? We had a truce!"
"Greg, come now... how many times have you lied to me
since we started this fight?"
"Never! I was always quite honest about how you were going
to be killed."
"True... but I still don't trust you, even if you are
With that, Todd beamed away.
Greg sighed and went back to the replicator. "Large Latte,
skim milk, touch of nutmeg..... Please."
Nothing happened. Todd must have destroyed the entire planetary
Greg wandered out into the street.. he looked up into the sky.
It was a big planet.. and it was lonely. Lonely was good, though..
since this world was usually inhabited by hungry land sharks.
He counted their absence as an asset and wandered down the street.
"I wonder what happened to the rest of Q-men?"
Hubris Valhalla was in a shambles. There was nothing left of
the baths, massage tables, or women. It had been turned into a
wasteland of debris. "So much for those delicious but hated
enemies." One shark burped happily.
The entire race of Sharks beamed back to their ships, happy
that they had finally rid the universe of the last vestiges of
Hubrisites. "Never again will they mock us!" shouted
a General, picking his teeth clean.
The president called for the council and when their decision
was made, the public was in total agreement. They let the council
know with their loud cheers. Hubris Valhalla was the new Sharlikiscalian
A shark technician disturbed the presidents massage being given
by a beautiful female shark in the rebuilt paradise. "Sir,
sensors report that Todd destroyed the computer network on our
abandoned homeworld after leaving, successfully stranding Greg
"But, without the computer system online to keep it in
check, that world's instable planetary core will go critical!
The planet and Greg will be destroyed within the week!" The
"What do you think?"
"I think it's hilarious!" The president shouted.
"Throw a party in Todd's honor.. from this day forward, no
shark will ever hurt Todd or his friends. He's done us a great
"And Greg's crime against us?"
"Forget it! I think he'll soon be punished enough. Don't
Greg had been wandering around for close to a week. He hadn't
found much to eat that didn't make his stomach turn. He was very
The ground began to quake. Buildings fell. Cracks appeared
in the pavement.
Greg waited for the quake to subside, but it didn't. It only
grew in intensity....
"Help?" Greg asked no one in particular.