Chapter Nineteen


Kangaroo...... er.. Shark Court * by Todd Frazier


Greg snickered as he heard another "Pop" sound. He imagined Todd must be in a lot of pain at this point. He turned to gloat at Todd and instead had to clench down on his jaw fairly hard to keep from screaming. He was face to face with a very large and angry looking shark.

The shark backed away from Greg's face and he could see that he was in what would seem to be a court room. The only problem was that everyone there was a shark, with the exception of Greg. Even the lawyers were sharks. "Isn't this taking a tired old joke a bit too far?" Greg muttered to himself.

"What did you say?" The shark in his face asked in frustration. "I demand you answer the question!"

"What was it? I just got here." Greg replied.

"Your honor, obviously, he's going for insanity. I request further witnesses be brought to the court room for clarification."

The Shark behind the bench sighed, "Very well. Court is recessed for one hour." Slamming the gavel on the bench, he stood up and left the courtroom.

Amidst the murmurs of the crowd of sharks, Greg noticed that one was talking to him. "We must go back to your cell for now." The shark grabbed Greg's arm and started pulling him towards a doorway.

"Wait a minute, what's your name? Where am I? How did I get here?"

"Save it for the judge. That insanity stuff isn't going to help me win your case!"

Todd leaned back and smiled at the monitor, gesturing at it while he talked. "See? They never noticed when our emergency beam out device replaced us with blithering duplicate acting droids. And the beauty of it is, while they are busy laughing at "us", they've gotten too close to the droids for their own good."

"5, 4, 3..." Jeff began counting.

"2, 1.." Mike finished.

A large explosion filled the small screen. When it cleared, there was nothing left but a room full of metal shards, embedded in the walls.

"Uh oh..." Todd mentioned.

"I hate it when he says that," Jeff stated. "What?"

"Sensors indicate that Greg disappeared from the room, seconds before the explosion. He got away!"

"The other two?" Mike asked.

"Their dead, Jim." Todd replied, in his best Dr. McCoy imitation. "I think... Hard to tell for sure. There was a lot of interference with that blast."

Mike turned to Todd for further clarification, and watched as Todd vanished with a loud "pop", not unlike the sound of ribs cracking under extreme pressure.

"Where am I?" Todd asked from the dark.

"Sharlikiscalia," a beautiful female voice replied. "You've been brought here to witness."


"In court." The lights came on, and Todd did a double take. In front of him was a very large shark. "Do not be afraid. I don't bite."

"You don't?" Todd asked in disbelief.

"So, tell the court where you last saw Greg."

"Laughing in my face as he was about to kill me with his silly transmogrifier thingy." Todd replied honestly.

"Is this the same Greg that 'laughed in your face?'" The shark pointed a fin at Greg, who looked slightly confused at the proceedings.

"It is." Todd said with finality.

"How did he get to the point he could laugh in your face when he was supposed to be my client's next meal?"

Todd looked at the female shark who first talked to him. "I thought you said you didn't bite!" Then he turned back to the lawyer shark. "I don't know how he got there. I was just playing a friendly game of cards. I hadn't even been bothered by Greg for several months! The next thing I knew, Greg said something about being saved by Hubris Valhalla......"

"HUBRIS VALHALLA!!??!!!??!" The entire room of sharks shouted at once..

One came forward and pointed a scanner at Greg. "Where!" He demanded.

Greg immediately spit out a set of coordinates, against his will. "Got it!" The shark exclaimed.

Every shark in the room immediately headed for the exits. The judge slammed his gavel, "Case dismissed!" and also cleared the room.

Within seconds, the entire court room was empty. Todd and Greg looked at each other, then reached for their weapons. Neither had any. "Well, it appears if we want to kill each other, then we'll have to do it by hand." Todd began.

"Kill each other?" Greg replied. "What on earth could have ever started us on such a terrible crusade against each other?"

"I don't know. I tried to find out once..."

"But then we got distracted with trying.."

"..to kill each other.. yeah, I know."


The city looked like a ghost town. There was no one left. "I guess they wanted to visit Hubris REAL bad."

Todd looked around. "I don't see any ships. Did they take them all?"

"Must have... come on."

Todd followed Greg from a short distance, to be safe. They headed into a larger building. The building was beautifully made and well maintained. It's only problem was that it was empty. Cups of what looked like coffee were sitting un-drunk on the counter top at the information booth.

Todd found a computer console at the booth and accessed it for transportation information. Greg was checking out what looked like a food replicator on the far wall when he heard a loud explosion behind him.

He turned in time to see Todd smiling in an apologetic manner "I figured out how to beam off this planet to anywhere in the galaxy. Unfortunately, I don't trust you very much. Nothing personal... it's just your recent behavior.... At any rate, I had to destroy the computer network that interlinks this entire planet to be sure that you don't follow me."

"What? We had a truce!"

"Greg, come now... how many times have you lied to me since we started this fight?"

"Never! I was always quite honest about how you were going to be killed."

"True... but I still don't trust you, even if you are truthful. Bye!"

With that, Todd beamed away.

Greg sighed and went back to the replicator. "Large Latte, skim milk, touch of nutmeg..... Please."

Nothing happened. Todd must have destroyed the entire planetary computer system.

Greg wandered out into the street.. he looked up into the sky. It was a big planet.. and it was lonely. Lonely was good, though.. since this world was usually inhabited by hungry land sharks. He counted their absence as an asset and wandered down the street. "I wonder what happened to the rest of Q-men?"

Hubris Valhalla was in a shambles. There was nothing left of the baths, massage tables, or women. It had been turned into a wasteland of debris. "So much for those delicious but hated enemies." One shark burped happily.

The entire race of Sharks beamed back to their ships, happy that they had finally rid the universe of the last vestiges of Hubrisites. "Never again will they mock us!" shouted a General, picking his teeth clean.

The president called for the council and when their decision was made, the public was in total agreement. They let the council know with their loud cheers. Hubris Valhalla was the new Sharlikiscalian homeworld.

A shark technician disturbed the presidents massage being given by a beautiful female shark in the rebuilt paradise. "Sir, sensors report that Todd destroyed the computer network on our abandoned homeworld after leaving, successfully stranding Greg there."

"But, without the computer system online to keep it in check, that world's instable planetary core will go critical! The planet and Greg will be destroyed within the week!" The president stated.

"What do you think?"

"I think it's hilarious!" The president shouted. "Throw a party in Todd's honor.. from this day forward, no shark will ever hurt Todd or his friends. He's done us a great service."

"And Greg's crime against us?"

"Forget it! I think he'll soon be punished enough. Don't you?"

Greg had been wandering around for close to a week. He hadn't found much to eat that didn't make his stomach turn. He was very hungry.

The ground began to quake. Buildings fell. Cracks appeared in the pavement.

Greg waited for the quake to subside, but it didn't. It only grew in intensity....

"Help?" Greg asked no one in particular.




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